void98 / juhi ♫( -_･) ︻デ═一 ▸
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@lilsurr
110424 (happy bday mama)
my therapist tells me to make a list of things that replenish me.we hike about 20 minutes at 1AM, along the bluffs overlooking the Pacific. our uber driver asked us no questions as we got off in the middle of the night at an empty roundabout in Daly City. following purple glowsticks and the light of the moon, we make our way to the renegade. while sitting on the foliage, I speak for too long about how 'Cool story bro' is poised for a comeback. 'the culture has turned mean,' I say, thinking I am making an argument. we sip spiked chai made days before for Diwali, soaking in its own juice for days in the fridge.
we discuss how everyone is quitting, and everyone does ketamine - does anyone have a real job anymore? reminds me of how my millennial manager used to say 2008 was, after everyone got laid off and lived freely and cheaply. they drank 3-for-1 shots at shitty bars and scammed their way into free stuff, the days that birthed funcheap. 2024 - the cycle continues?
the chai has bourbon, and black pepper. it sits on the tongue and warms the throat. I observe everyone's outerwear. is everyone warm-blooded, or just not a little bitch like me? a girl wears a floor to ceiling marshmallow coat that irritates me. though, I guess she is warm.
faraway, but not too faraway, Gumby pours drinks for patrons of the arts. when he is where he is supposed to be, illuminated by red lights, he looks beautiful - if I were on acid, I would look upon him all night. when he comes closer to me, with his hands on his head, puts on a jacket, talks to a group of strangers, he looks hostile, tall, and frightening. I recoil.
on that auspicious night where we gain another hour, we leave at 4:30AM, before the sun rises, to feel less deranged.
(it was time for the history to go to a separate page)
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